


Sillier than the Undertaker

by KylaraWritesFanfiction



Category: Les Misérables (2012), Les Misérables - All Media Types
Genre: But he wants his friends to be happy, Closets, Courfeyrac is aromantic, F/F, F/M, Kissing, M/M, Matchmaking, Multi, Party Games, Polyamory, Seven Minutes In Heaven, So he shoves them in closets so they can kiss, not quite crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-10
Updated: 2015-03-21
Packaged: 2018-02-28 20:42:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 7,521
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2746370
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KylaraWritesFanfiction/pseuds/KylaraWritesFanfiction
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Courfeyrac fancies himself a matchmaker and some of his friends are pining after his other friends. Just because those other friends are currently in relationships, doesn't mean it can't work out. Cue him hosting a party at his hosue and using party games to matchmake his friends. Features Enjolras/Combeferre/Grantaire and Cosette/Marius/Eponine in the closet making out. (Separately lol.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I found this 3/4ths written on my computer so I finished it and now I'm posting it. I have it all written, so all the chapters should be up soon. It's kind of silly I know, but I wrote it really fast and I think it's fun!
> 
> Full Title: Sillier than the Undertaker, We Are Meeting Our Matchmaker (Actually we already met him and it's Courfeyrac)

Courfeyrac prided himself on his matchmaking abilities. He looked around his group of friends in the private room at the Musain only half listening to what Enjolras was saying. It wasn't anything he hadn't heard before and he could ask Combeferre to let him know if anything important was said. The whole group, basically was a testament to his matchmaking abilities. He was responsible for almost everyone joining. Combeferre he had known since elementary school and he introduced him to Enjolras whom he knew from his Introduction to Political Philosophy class the first week freshman year. The three had formed Les Amis later in their sophmore year. Courfeyrac brought Marius, his roommate. With Marius came Cosette, his girlfriend and Eponine, a girl Marius knew from high school. Courfeyrac brought Jehan, his boyfriend at the time. They had their meetings at the Musain which Courfeyrac arranged through his boss Musichetta. With Musichetta came Joly. The rest of the group, Courfeyrac could only claim through Combeferre. Combeferre met Grantaire last year and invited him to start coming to the meetings and Grantaire brought his roommate Bossuet and his friend Bahorel and Bahorel's roommate Feuilly.

Over half of his friends were in happy relationships and he fully took credit for them all. Joly was sitting next to him by the door so he could wave to Musichetta whenever she passed. It was Courfeyrac's fateful accident while working the bar with Musichetta that led them to the emergency room where they met Joly. Joly had fiercely exclaimed over the gash in his hand, intensely sewn it up, and bandaged it. Once the wound was taken care of, he noticed Musichetta and proclaimed her to be the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen. He squeaked and went red once he realized he had said it out loud, but Musichetta didn't mind and they'd been dating ever since.

Marius and Cosette sat at the table next to them. Courfeyrac was walking with Marius the first time he ever saw Cosette. He listened and encouraged Marius for a week, before fortunately bumping into Cosette in the campus dining hall. Courfeyrac had abruptly introduced himself to Cosette and then practically dragged her over to Marius. They met officially and the rest was history, sickeningly sweet, nausea inducing at times history. 

Combeferre sat behind Enjolras, taking notes and looking stern. Courfeyrac took full credit for their relationship as well. Not only did he introduce the two, but he hosted the party where they first kissed. He even suggested that they all play Seven Minutes in Heaven, so he was counting that as a win.

Everyone else in the group however...was not so happy in the relationship department. Jehan, Bahorel and Feuilly sat behind Marius and Cosette. No one really knew what was going on between them. Any of them. Bahorel and Feuilly were roommates and Jehan had moved in at the beginning of the semester. None of them would admit to a relationship, but there was definitely something going on with those three, a strong bromance at the very least. Technically Courfeyrac took credit for that relationship as well, because he introduced Jehan to the group after their short romance last year before Courfeyrac had realized he identified himself as aromantic and Jehan had immediately hit it off with those two. He and Feuilly had even collaborated on an art and spoken word project last year. 

Courfeyrac avoided looking at the very back table where Eponine Grantaire and Bossuet were sitting because it made him sad. He tried not to mentally dub that table the Table of Piners or the Pining Table of Pining Piners, or the horribly sad and hopeless Pining Table of Hopeless Pining Piners, but he was failing. At least he wasn't making any mental puns about triangles or threesomes or anything like that. It was obvious to everyone except Marius that Eponine had had a massive crush on Marius that never really went away. Everyone expected Eponine to hate Cosette, but she didn't. If anything, her massive crush on Marius turned into a massive crush on both Marius and Cosette. Bossuet ended up being as unlucky in love as in everything else. On his first night amongst the Amis he hit on both Joly and Musichetta separately only to be turned down because they were with someone else. On discovering they were together he broke two glasses and a pitcher. Joly put a band-aid on his cut; Musichetta laughed and told him it was alright. Bossuet was hooked, by both of them, but he was too honourable to do anything about it. 

And don’t get him started on Grantaire. Grantaire and Combeferre had hit it off really well when they first met, flirting and even going out for coffee several times. And then Grantaire had come to a meeting. He had seen Enjolras and was immediately struck with artistic inspiration. Combeferre had thought he had no chance, since Grantaire had seen Enjolras so he decided to back off. Grantaire noticed the way Combeferre and Enjolras looked at each other. He figured he had no chance compared to Enjolras and so he also decided to back off. They never got past coffee dates. It figured that Grantaire was able to see so clearly that Combeferre and Enjolras were in love, but remained blind to the fact that they were both now interested in him. 

Courfeyrac chanced a glance at the Pining Table of Pining Piners. He swore they all sighed at the same time. This was getting ridiculous. He was sure all interested parties were, well interested. If they would just get together already! He needed to do something about this. He started mentally brainstorming some ideas when he heard Enjolras ask “Any other business, anyone?”

“I’m having a party at mine and Marius’ this Friday night.” His friends’ responses were a mixture of groans and delight. Some people enjoyed his parties more than others, but he knew everyone would be able to make it. They all hung out almost every Friday night anyway.

“Enjolras, I’m making this my one Mandatory Social Event this month.”

“What’s the occasion?” Combeferre asked with a look that said clearly What are you up to?

“Nothing in particular. I just feel that this party is necessary for our continuing group unity.” 

“Musichetta! Courfeyrac’s having a party! Can you come?” Joly accosted his girlfriend with an enthusiastic hug when she walked in, on a break.

“When is it?”

“This Friday. At our apartment.” Courfeyrac answered.

“Well I have to work, but I’m not closing so I should be able to be there, just a little late. What time are you starting anyway?”

“Maybe 7? Just everyone come over after dinner time. You don’t want me to have to feed you.”

After everyone had confirmed that they could make it, and he instructed them to bring their own snacks and booze, he headed home. He had a party to plan. And a bunch of friends to turn into happy couples…triples… happy polyamorous unions. And he was pretty sure he already knew what he was going to do. After all, why mess with a classic?


	2. Chapter 2

The party had been going for about an hour and everyone had finally gotten there, except for Musichetta. Courfeyrac could tell people were done chatting and ready for a game of some kind. He started herding people into the living room. Grantaire was the only person missing and he found him standing in the kitchen staring at the drinks holding an empty beer bottle. Courfeyrac knew Grantaire had been trying to cut back on drinks.

“Get a water bottle. You won’t want to be too drunk for this.”

“For what?”

“A game!”

Grantaire just sighed and allowed himself to be led back to the living room with a water bottle in hand.

Once everyone was in the living room, Courfeyrac announced his plan. “Let’s play a game!”

“Not Spin the Bottle!” Joly hated that game.

“NAKED TWISTER!” Bahorel always suggested it, but they’d yet to try it.

“Never Have I Ever!” Cosette loved collecting secrets.

“No, it’s a new game. I just made it up. It’s called Ten Minutes in Sin.”

Grantaire just groaned and buried his head in the pillow on his lap.

“That sounds a lot like Seven Minutes in Heaven,” said Combeferre with everyone chorusing their agreement.

“It’s similar, but actually quite different.”

“Because you spend ten minutes in a closet instead of seven?”

“Well, yes, but there are other differences too—“

“Courfeyrac, we can’t do Seven Minutes in Heaven because half of us here are already in relationships. We don’t want to be in the closet with anyone else, and what’s the point if it’s something you can just do at home.” Enjolras asked.

“That’s how Ten Minutes in Sin is different. If you draw the name of someone already in a relationship, you have to spend ten minutes in the closet with both people.”

The room was silent as everyone realized the implications of the new rules, rules that no one seemed to be opposed to.

“Combeferre, I thought you and Enjolras could go first, since you had such a good time in this closet last year.”

Conbeferre stood, dragging Enjolras with him. He and Courfeyrac held a silent conversation, the kind only people who’ve known each other for a very long time can do.

Combeferre narrowed his eyes, _Is this rigged?_

 _Would I do it any other way?_ Courfeyrac shrugged.

A flick of Combeferre’s eyes asked, _Grantaire?_

_You know it baby!_

_Thank You._

_Anything for you Darling. But if you hurt him..._

_We won't._ Combeferre glanced at Enjolras then smiled. “Okay. How do we choose a name?”

Enjolras made a sound of protest, but Combeferre leaned down and whispered something in his ear.

Courfeyrac brought out a cup full of papers that all said Grantaire, smiling. His plan was going to work.


	3. Chapter 3

Grantaire hid his head in the pillow he was holding. Ten Minutes in Sin was just another name for Seven Minutes in Heaven. The last time they had played that here, well. It had been the night Combeferre and Enjolras had gotten together. Courfeyrac had somehow tricked the two of them into going into the closet. He had entertained some mild fantasies about what would happen in there, but he had never expected them to actually do anything. When the closet door opened, they stumbled out, shirts disheveled, hair wild, and lips swollen. They stumbled straight from the closet into the nearest bedroom and Grantaire had immediately excused himself to the nearest bathroom. It had been both the best thing and the worst thing ever to happen at one of Courfeyrac’s parties. 

Grantaire was thinking about his current friendship with Combeferre and Enjolras, strong despite the initial awkwardness due to the magnification of his crush(es) once they had gotten together when he heard what Courfeyrac was saying.

“If you draw the name of someone already in a relationship, you have to spend ten minutes in the closet with both people.”

Was Courfeyrac serious? He was going to be stuck in a closet with two people madly in love with each other and slightly drunk. Was he trying to kill him? He tried not to think about going into the closet with the two men he was madly in love with, but now it was all he could think about. Especially when Courfeyrac suggested that they go first.

Now Combeferre and Courfeyrac were having a silent conversation. Enjolras was staring intently at them with a cute frown on his face. He always did that when he couldn’t figure out what they were saying. Grantaire looked at Combeferre. Did he just glance at him? Grantaire could feel a blush forming. He took deep breaths, trying to remain calm. He had just achieved a partially relaxed state by convincing himself he would probably end up in the closet with Bossuet, or Bahorel, or Feuilly. Or basically anyone else, when Combeferre called his name.

He stood hardly realizing what he was doing. He was still a little stunned moments later when he was practically pushed into the closet by Courfeyrac. He pushed his back against the door creating as much space between himself and Combeferre and Enjolras as he could. The closet was completely empty of things and Courfeyrac had hung a string of Christmas lights around the top of the closet. Grantaire could clearly see Combeferre pushing Enjolras against the back wall, their mouths locked together. He tried to avert his gaze and caught sight of the piece of paper tacked to the wall at the back of the closet that said in Courfeyrac’s handwriting The Kissing Closet. Enjolras moaned and Grantaire couldn’t help turning his attention back to the couple making out in front of him. Combeferre had Enjolras’ face in his hands. Grantaire’s fantasies had done nothing to prepare him for this situation. It was so much better then he thought it would be. Also, he always thought Enjolras would be the pushy one. When he thought about it. Which was hardly ever.

Grantaire must have made a noise because both Combeferre and Enjolras turned to look at him. 

“You guys just… carry on with … whatever you want to do. Pretend I’m not here.”

He still must have been a little bit out of it, because he had barely realized Combeferre was stepping towards him when he found himself spun between the two other men facing Combeferre. Enjolras was standing behind him, evidence of his arousal pressing into him. He felt Enjolras’ arms come to rest on his hips.

“We wouldn’t want to leave you out.” Combeferre said as he somehow moved even closer to Grantaire. One of his hands rested on his shoulder and the other moved up to tangle into his hair.

“May, I kiss you now?”

Grantaire gave up all pretense of dignity and barely nodded his assent before he melted into Combeferre. With one hand in his hair and the other on his face Combeferre guided Grantaire in an intense yet still gentle series of kisses. He took his time mapping out his lips. Grantaire didn’t even bother to contain the noises of pleasure he was making. It was possibly the most intense kiss of his life and there hadn’t even been tongue. Finally, Combeferre slipped his tongue into Grantaire’s mouth. The gentle yet thorough exploration continued. Grantaire yielded under Combeferre’s expert touch. Eventually the kiss ended and Grantaire heard a greedy hungry noise from behind him. He had almost forgotten Enjolras was there. Combeferre pulled his boyfriend in for a kiss with Grantaire still between them. He felt a pool of arousal tighten in his gut. He only had a moment to enjoy the situation, both hot and oddly comforting, before he was being turned around once again.  
He found himself facing Enjolras with Combeferre pressed against his back, arms around his torso. He was pretty sure one of Combeferre’s hands was under his shirt caressing his sides.

Who would have thought Combeferre would be handsy!

His attention was brought back to Enjolras who had placed his hands on his shoulders. 

“Grantaire, listen to me. I need you to understand something. This is not a sex thing. Let us take you out.”

“What?” Grantaire frowned. It was one thing to make out in a closet during one of Courfeyrac’s parties, but it seemed like Enjolras was saying he wanted more than that. That couldn’t be right.

“A date.” Combeferre murmured in his ear before proceeding to kiss down the side of his neck.

“Combeferre don’t distract him. Yes A date Grantaire. Combeferre and I want to take you out on a date and then we want to take you home with us and maybe have sex, but also cuddle on the couch and watch Netflix. How does that sound?”

Grantaire can feel his mouth hanging open. He wasn’t used to getting things he wants in life. He never thought things with Enjolras and Combeferre would go like this, would end happily.

“Hella awesome.”

“So will you?”  
“Will I what?” Combeferre was licking sucking a line up and down his neck and he found it difficult to keep the thread of conversation.

“Go on a date with us.”

“Yes.”

“I’m going to kiss you now, okay?”

Grantaire just nodded and Enjolras surged forward. Enjolras kissed exactly like he thought he would, passionate, straight-forward, almost brutal. Where Combeferre made him yield, something in Enjolras’ kiss made him want to fight back. He brought his hands up and for the first time became an active participant, grasping the other man’s face in a duel for dominance. Combeferre made his presence known. He reached around Grantaire to Enjolras and pulled everyone closer.

The ten minutes went by all too quickly and soon the three men were stumbling out of the closet, all three holding hands looking disheveled and happy. Grantaire, especially looked particularly debauched, but he couldn’t stop smiling.

Enjolras walked over to Courfeyrac dragging his boyfriends? Grantaire would have to ask about the terminology. 

“Thank You for the lovely party Courfeyrac. We have to be going now.”

“Where are you headed?" Courfeyrac asked with a smirk.

“We’re going somewhere on a date. Where should we go Combeferre? Grantaire, are you hungry?”

“Yes, starving. Wait, we’re going on a date right now? I thought you meant like, some day.”

Combeferre is the one who answered. “We’re going on a date right now, so you don’t have the chance to over think anything. How does Italian sound? There’s a cute little restaurant by our apartment. There’s an ice cream shop next door so we can grab dinner, then ice cream. How does that sound?”

“Good,” Grantaire whispered.

“It’s settled then.” Enjolras said. “See you later everyone. We’ve got a date to go on.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More framework here.

Courfeyrac didn’t want to eavesdrop on his friends in the closet. That would be weird. But, by the lack of angry yelling noises, he cautiously assumed things were going well. He looked over at his friends sitting around the living room.

Cosette and Marius were sharing “their” chair in the corner. Cosette whispered furiously into Marius’ ear. He turned to answer her when she stood abruptly.

“Marius, let’s go get some more drinks.” She dragged him into the kitchen.

Good call. Marius was a notoriously bad whisperer.

Bahorel, Feuilly and Eponine were sharing he big couch against the back wall. Jehan was sitting on the floor with his head resting Bahorel’s leg. There was definitely something going on there. Out of everyone, those three were the least bothered by the prospect of the kissing closet. Feuilly was drawing on Bahorel’s wrist and Jehan was poring through his poetry notebook murmuring suggestions. If he had to guess, Courfeyrac would say they were probably designing the new tattoo Bahorel had talked about getting. They asked Eponine her opinion, but she was obviously distracted. She absently answered her couchmates as she picked the label off her beer bottle. She kept shooting nervous glances into the kitchen, where Marius and Cosette had gone.

Joly was on his phone on the love seat. Bossuet sat on the floor beside him, resting his back against the seat which Grantaire had vacated. Normally those two would be joking around, possibly making bets on what was happening in the closet. Now they were all but ignoring each other. Joly was typing furiously on his phone and Bossuet looked as if he had never regretted dropping his phone in the duck pond at the park more. He had nothing to do with his hands and so he was absently picking at a scab on his elbow while looking anywhere but at Joly.

The important thing to Courfeyrac was that no one was looking at him so he discreetly disposed of the papers that said Grantaire’s name and filled that cup with the papers he had prepared that said Eponine’s name. When he was done with that he sat down on the loveseat next to Joly breaking up the awkwardfest between him and Bossuet.

“You texting Musichetta?”

“Yeah, she’s on her way.” He paused. “So how much longer do they have in the closet anyway?”

“Oh! I forgot to set a timer.” Courfeyrac pulled out his phone and set the timer app for 10 minutes. “I don’t think they’ll mind a few extra minutes.”

The next ten minutes passed in near silence almost unheard of at one of his parties. Joly continued to mess with his phone. When Courfeyrac looked over he noticed he was playing Jetpack Joyride. Courfeyrac tried to start a conversation with Bossuet, but after a series of absent-minded one word replies, he gave up. He stared at the timer countdown. Cosette and Marius hadn’t returned from the kitchen yet. He wondered what they were talking about. Well, knowing how perceptive Cosette was, he knew exactly what they were talking about.

When his phone’s timer went off, he practically jumped off the couch and knocked on the closet door. 

Seconds later, the door opened and Combeferre, Grantaire and Enjolras stumbled out. Combeferre looked particularly pleased, Enjolras determined and Grantaire, to be honest, looked a little awestruck. The three announced they were leaving. Combeferre mouthed a thank you to Courfeyrac as they left. Once they were gone, Cosette and Marius came back into the living room.

Everyone looked to Courfeyrac expectedly. 

“Right, then. Who wants to go next? Marius?”

As expected, by pretty much everyone Marius drew Eponine’s name and the three went into the closet.

“Don’t forget to start the timer this time” Eponine hissed furiously as she walked past him.

Courfeyrac had barely set the timer on his phone when Musichetta walked in and flopped onto the couch next to Joly and started unlacing her boots.

“What did I miss?”

“Courfeyrac’s stuffing everyone he thinks should be together into the closet to make out. “ Joly replied.

“No we’re not doing that.” She began pulling her boots back on. “Bye everyone. Nice party. We’ll see you later.”

She and Joly walked towards the front door, missing the look of regret that passed across Bossuet’s face. They paused in the doorway while Joly put his coat on.

“Bossuet, hurry up. Aren’t you coming?” Musichetta asked.

“Um, what? Yes. Yes I am.”

Bossuet hurried to put on his own shoes.

“Oh good.” Said Joly. “Are we gonna make out in the closet? Cuz I was kind of looking forward to that.”

“Why would we make out in the closet, when we can make out on the bed?”

“Um, so are we really going to be making out then?” Bossuet asked as Joly and Musichetta each took one of his arms and escorted him out of Courfeyrac’s apartment and back to their own.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will be Cosette's pov and Cosette/Eponine/Marius centric. Then It will be finished up with a small epilogue back from Courfeyrac's pov.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cosette/Marius/Eponine

Cosette mentally listed everything she knew about the situation at hand.

Grantaire was hopelessly in love with both Combeferre and Enjolras. Combeferre and Enjolras returned his feelings. All three boys were too shy or too insecure or just too awkward to do anything about it.

Courfeyrac had seen the problem and taken matters into his own hands.

This game of 10 Minutes in Sin was designed to put single people in the Kissing Closet with couples.

Eponine was madly in love with her boyfriend, Marius.

This entire party was a set-up!

The real question was how did she feel about it.

She had been nervous to first meet Eponine. All she knew about her was that she was Marius’ oldest friend and had been there for him during some pretty dark times in his life. When she saw Eponine at the coffee shop where Marius had arranged for them to meet, she realized there was a lot more to Eponine than Marius knew. He stood there with a big smile introducing his girlfriend to his best friend who hunched in on herself defensively and plastered a brittle smile on. She was gorgeous, vulnerable and completely in love with an oblivious Marius. 

Cosette had walked up to her, greeted her with a big hug and in complete sincerity had complimented her on her outfit.

“Marius, go get us some drinks. We need to have female bonding time.” It had taken the whole afternoon, but Eponine had warmed up to her. Now, Eponine was her best friend besides Marius. How would ten minutes in the closet affect that, because Courfeyrac, darn him, was definitely going to put the three of them in that closet. Did Cosette mind Eponine kissing Marius? She pictured it.

Eponine would be aggressive and Marius would be into it. He tended to be more submissive in the bedroom. Eponine woule walk up to Marius without hesitation and push him against the wall, kissing him mercilessly. Marius wouldn’t be able to stop his whimper, wordlessly begging for more. Eponine wouldn’t give in right away. She would look over at Cosette, inviting her to watch, to participate even.

Well then. That answered that question. Cosette was definitely on board with this. Not just on board, she was …excited by the prospect. And if Eponine and Marius wanted to pursue a relationship afterwards, she didn’t think she minded that either. Eponine loved Marius and after what he had been through, he needed all the love he could get.

“Marius” She whispered into his ear. She shifted her position on his lap so she could turn her head and reach both his ear and his mouth easily.

“Hmmm?” She could tell he’s been thinking about schoolwork and not anything going on at the party.

“Courfeyrac is going to put us in the closet with Eponine.”

“What?! He barely managed to keep it at a whisper, suddenly fully engaged. “Why? Why would he do that?”

Cosette considered how best to respond. Marius wasn’t the best at whispering and she knew this was probably going to be a very sensitive conversation.

She stood. “Marius, let’s go get some more drinks.” It wasn’t a great excuse, but she knew everyone would understand.

Once they were in the kitchen seated next to each other at the bar, Cosette took Marius’ hand. He surprised her by speaking first. 

“How do you know Eponine is going to end up in the closet with us?”

“Courfeyrac has taken it upon himself to matchmake all of his friends. Eponine is in love with you. Of course he is going to put her in the closet with us.”

“Eponine is in love with me? Why? How do you know?”

This was a trait of Marius’ that both made Cosette fall a little more in love with him and get very angry at anyone in his past who had hurt him. He was just so reluctant to believe that anyone could love him. 

“Trust me, as someone who also loves you, I know. And she loves you probably for the same reasons I do. Because you are kind and sweet and beautiful.” The tips of Marius’ ears started to go red.

Cosette continued. “And if you kiss in the closet today, I am really, 100% fine with it. And if you want to, you know, go on dates or something, I’m okay with that too.”

Marius sighed and ran a hand through his already essy hair.

“Cosette, I don’t want to do anything, in the closet or otherwise, without you.”

“You don’t?”

“And I’m pretty sure, Eponine doesn’t want to do anything without you either.”

“She doesn’t?”

“You say she’s in love with me, and I don’t know about that-“

“She definitely is.”

“But I think she has feelings for you too.”

“She does?”

Cosette sometimes forgot that her childhood wasn’t the best and she was also prone to insecurities and obliviousness when it came to people loving her.

“She definitely does. And I think she would be just as likely to kiss YOU in the closet.”

“Oh.” Cosette took a deep breath trying to process this new information, but also focus on the conversation at hand. She took a moment to put herself in Marius’ place in the fantasy she’d had earlier. 

Yes definitely still on board with it. 

“How do you feel about that, Marius? The kissing, for either of us, or even more. The, you know, dating stuff?”

“You know I find Eponine attractive, so either of us kissing her today wouldn’t be a problem. As for the rest, well, you Eponine and Courfeyrac are the most important people in my life. I love you and I’ll always feel that way. I know you feel the same. If she loves us and we feel that way about her, I think adding her would only be a good thing. All three of us have kind of had sucky childhoods so adding more love to our lives would only make our relationship better. Don’t you think?”

“Yes,” Cosette said breathlessly as she pulled Marius in for a kiss. People underestimated Marius, but he was the best boyfriend!

They stayed pressed together hugging until Courfeyrac called them back into the living room.

“So we’re doing this?” Marius asked.

“Definitely.”

They rejoined their friends in the living room and Courfeyrac asked Marius to draw a name. He drew Eponine’s name and seconds later, the three of them were standing in the closet.

Eponine looked nervous, but determined.

“You guys alright with this?” Eponine asked.

Cosette nodded and Marius spoke. “More than alright we are…” He paused, searching for the right word.

“Excited.” Cosette finished for him.

Cosette was right. Eponine didn’t hesitate. Marius was also right. Cosette was the one being kissed.

Eponine walked right up to her and pushed her against the wall, kissing as if she had something to prove. It was nothing like being kissed by Marius. In her heels, Eponine was a tiny bit taller than Cosette and she used that height to her advantage. Cosette lost herself in the sensations, hands in her hair, pulling her head to different angles, then questing down her back and pretty much all over. Lips pressing against her own, sure and confident. Eponine used her teeth to bite her lips. Cosette hadn’t known she liked that. Minutes, or maybe hours later, Cosette began to push back, fighting Eponine for dominance. She thrust her tongue into the other girl’s mouth, rougher than she would have been with Marius, and then pulled her closer. Their chests brushed against each other and it was heaven.

There was a sound from the other side of the closet, part whimper part groan. Cosette had forgotten about Marius. She searched for the twinge of guilt she should feel, but it wasn’t there.  
Eponine kissed her once more, gentle, where before she had been wild, then pulled back, grinning. Satisfied. She looked at Cosette, searching her face for something and finding it. An understanding passed between the two girls. Cosette smiled and grabbed Eponine’s hand as they turned to face Marius.

Together, they walked towards him. Marius took half a step back and bumped into the wall behind him. He let out another noise, both pleased and frustrated. It was a cute noise. Cosette gave in to her impulse and pulled him in for a kiss. She wondered if he could taste Eponine on her tongue. The thought made her smile and when she was done she stepped back allowing Eponine to take her place.

Marius and Eponine were beautiful together as they kissed. She didn’t feel jealous at all, just weirdly proud and very turned on. When Eponine pulled back from the kiss, Cosette stepped up and engulfed her two friends, her two lovers in a hug.

Eponine took a deep breath, then said, “You need to know, I mean I need to tell you guys. I’m in love with you, both of you.” She glared at them afterwards, daring them to mock her for her feelings.

Cosette just pulled her closer. “We know. We love you too. We don’t know how much of it is friend love and how much we are IN love with you, but we want to figure it out. If you want to.”

“Yes.” The words were out of Eponine’s mouth before Cosette had finished talking.

The three hugged again. 

Marius took Eponine’s hands. “Eponine, I just want you to know, I never meant to hurt you and I’m happy I will have the chance to make it up to you.”

Eponine laughed. “It’s fine. We’re dating now. Everything’s fine. “

“Everything’s great.” Cosette broke in. “So where do you want to go on our first date?”

“Marius bedroom? I mean we can go somewhere nice later, but I for one would like to finish what we started.” 

Cosette didn’t know how to respond to that, didn’t know how to turn that down when she wanted it so much. She looked at Marius and he nodded.

“Now?” He asked.

Together the three slipped from the closet paying little attention to Courfeyrac talking to Jehan and made their way to Marius bedroom. They had barely shut and locked the door when Eponine pushed Marius onto the bed and joined him there, the two kissing furiously and undressing. Cosette watched them fondly while she got undressed before joining them. She would have to thank Courfeyrac later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After this just a short interlude with Joly, Bossuet and Musichetta and an epilogue type thingie with Courfeyrac. I'm also consider a short fun sequel called living arrangements.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bossuet, Musichetta and Joly have something to talk about

Bossuet didn’t remember much of the walk over to Joly and Chetta’s apartment. He was nervous and couldn’t stop thinking about how lucky he was. Granted having both Joly and Chetta holding his hands the whole way there didn’t help things. His attention drifted as he focused on the two different hands he held in his own, one soft and sure, one calloused and generous, both strong as they tugged him towards their home. He remembered those hands on him, pushing him onto their bed, undressing him, touching him as they kissed. Chetta had been just as strong and confident as he thought she would be. What had been surprising was how strong and confident Joly had been as well. It had been intoxicating having both of them focused on him. The whole evening had been wonderful. But that had been two weeks ago. And they hadn’t talked about it in the morning, hadn’t brought it up again at all. He worried that it would somehow ruin their friendship, but the three were closer than ever. 

At least he still had the memories. He stumbled as he realized what might happen again tonight. Joly caught him and made sure he kept his footing. Musichetta smiled at him in a way he was sure she meant to be reassuring. It wasn’t. He retreated back into his thoughts. They had talked about kissing on the bed. How was this his life?!! Did they want to do it again? Maybe they just said that to escape Courfeyrac’s party. Or to mess with him. They had to be teasing him, But… They weren’t that cruel. The two people he was completely in love with, wouldn’t do something like that. They just… wanted to have him in their bed again. That was it. They had liked it before and wanted to continue to spice up their relationship with sex. They didn’t want a relationship with him. Just friends with benefits. He sighed, relieved to have figured it out. He could handle that. He tripped again, this time on the welcome mat in the entryway to the apartment.

How were they here already? Joly caught him again. He had been prepared for the fall as nine times out of ten Bossuet tripped over this mat on his way in and out of the apartment. They had tried getting rid of it, but Joly had gotten nervous about the amount of germs being tracked in. As a compromise, they had rearranged the furniture so nothing was in between the door and the sofa.

Joly laughed nervously as he lead Bossuet to the sofa.

“Some things never change.” Joly said.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Chetta asked.

“I don’t know. I just wanted to say something. It was too quiet.”

Bossuet watched this exchange with a feeling fast approaching terror. Joly and Musichetta were both nervous. They were never nervous about this kind of thing, about people and friendships. What happened to those two confident people he had shared a bed with? He had to say something. Fix this somehow.

“I know what you said before, at Courfeyrac’s, you know about kissing and stuff. Well we don’t have to. Let’s just watch a movie. We still haven’t started that Mighty Ducks marathon we were talking about.”

Musichetta frowned. “I’m going to make tea.”

“I’ll help,” said Joly as he rushed to follow Musichetta into the kitchen.

They stopped in the doorway and held a furious whispering match. Bossuet didn’t bother with any pretense and shamelessly attempted to eavesdrop. At one point he could have sworn they were saying

‘No You’

‘No You’

Then ‘Chetta pushed Joly back into the living room and said “Making tea is a one person job.”

Joly made his way back to couch practically vibrating with nerves.

“Bossuet, there is something Musichetta and I would like to talk to you about.”

“Like who’s the best Avenger? Or Oh! You wanted to watch the Star Wars teaser trailer again and make more speculations about the new movie? Or how do you think Grantaire’s date with Enjolras and Combeferre is going?”

“Oh yeah. I hope it’s going well. R will be so bummed if things go poorly. Hey, wait! Don’t try to distract me, we have serious things to discuss.”

Bossuet gave up trying to lighten the mood. “You don’t need to explain it. I know you didn’t want to go in the closet with me. “

“That’s not it. We need to explain _why_ we didn’t want to play Courfeyrac’s totally rigged game. We just didn’t want Courf to get the credit for matchmaking our relationship.”

Bossuet stared blankly. “Matchmaking… our relationship?”

Musichetta appeared in the doorway carrying a tray of tea. Bossuet hadn’t even heard the kettle go off.

“Joly you’re doing it all out of order. Bossuet, I really think we need to talk about what happened the other night when we had sex.”

“I thought you guys didn’t want to talk about it. It was just like, one night of forbidden love. I don’t need to talk about it if you guys don’t want to.”

“We want to though,” said ‘Chetta.

“Yeah, we kind of think you got the wrong idea. Which is dumb, because the whole reason we waited to talk to you was to be sure you wouldn’t get the wrong idea. And then we wanted to wait for your birthday next week.” Joly said.

“This is my birthday surprise?” Bossuet asked.

“Yes.” Joly answered simply.

“Well what – what did you want to say about it?” Said Bossuet. 

“We liked it. You did too, right?” asked Musichetta.

“It was …amazing.”

“I know right, it totally was. ‘Chetta and I wanted to do it again the next morning, but you had left and then we figured out we never want to stop doing it.” Joly explained.

“You don’t?” Bossuet felt a little breathless.

Words tumbled out of Joly’s mouth and Bossuet slowly started to understand.

“We both knew we liked you and what happened that night felt not just amazing, but really right too, you know?”

Bossuet nodded and glanced at Musichetta. She was nodding along with Joly but carefully watching Bossuet as if to gauge his reaction.

“We know we love each other and we thought maybe, we might love you too. But we wanted to make sure. I wanted to know that I could love you as much as I love ‘Chetta, that it would be fair for both of you. She wanted to be sure she loved you and not just the idea of you or the excitement of a new relationship. That was why we went on those dates last weekend.”

Bossuet was so caught up in the idea of his unrequited love being requited so he didn’t immediately process what was being said.

“Dates? Wait, those were dates? How did I not know that?” Last weekend ‘Chetta had had the day off and just the two of them had gone shopping. He had been nervous at first. They didn’t often hang out without Joly as a social barrier, but it had ended up being really fun. She had insisted he help her pick out a new outfit and it had been surprisingly fun picking out ridiculous clothes for her to try on. They had gone out for lunch and then gone for ice cream before meeting up with Joly for a movie. It was so obviously a date, when he framed it like that. Then the next day, while Musichetta was at work he and Joly had gone on a picnic. A now obviously romantic picnic! Then they had gone to their favorite bookstore and spent hours there and then the three of them had met up at a super fancy restaurant. 

“So they were good dates?” Bossuet knew he had had a great time, but worried the other two didn't feel the same way. 

“The best we’ve ever been on,” Musichetta said with a straight face. “I think the three of us could be something really good. We don’t need Courfeyrac to let us know that. Bossuet, we want you to be our boyfriend. What do you think?”

Bossuet didn’t need to think. “Yes! Of course, absolutely. I have been in love with you, both of you for almost as long as I’ve known you. Why were you guys so nervous? There was no way I possibly could have said no. “

Joly and Musichetta smiled as the three went to the bedroom to celebrate their new relationship.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a short epilogue

After Joly and Musichetta had left with Bossuet, Courfeyrac noticed that the closet door was open. Marius, Cosette and Eponine must have slipped out while everyone was distracted. Courfeyrac stopped the timer on his phone.

Jehan stood and said “I think we’re gonna go too. I don’t really want to be stuffed into a closet with these two.”

“Maybe just one of them, though? Or would they like to go in the closet together? What exactly is going on with you three?”

“I can’t really explain it without jinxing it. Unspoken rule kind of thing.”

“But you’re happy?”

“Definitely,” He said with a smile on his face. Courfeyrac could tell he meant it. “ Are you?”

“What do you mean?”

“You essentially just set up all of your closest friends. Aren’t you afraid of being the…13th wheel or something? Are you sure you’re you won’t be lonely?”

“You know I don’t want or need a relationship.”

“I know you don’t. And I’m not saying you do. But there are other kinds of relationships that are important. I just want to make sure you’re going to be ok."

“ I’m happy as long as everyone else is happy. I love you guys and I’m perfectly fine with just your friendships. I have Enjolras and Combeferre for deep intellectual conversations and you for advice and wisdom and snuggles and Grantaire and Bahorel for cheering me up when I need to get out of my head and Eponine and Feuilly for reality checks and to tell me when I’m being dumb and Joly and Bossuet for when I need just happy stress-free laughter. Seriously, you guys are the best friends I could ever ask for and I don’t need anything else.”

“Well good. Just let me know if you need anything. Courf, you do so much for everyone and you rarely let us repay the favor, so if you ever need to talk or hang out one on one or snuggle or anything, I’m here for you. We all are.”

“I’ll be perfectly fine. I hang out with everyone all the time and it’s not like I live alone. Marius is a great roommate and a pretty good snuggler.”

Jehan smiled at that and finished saying goodbye.

After he, Bahorel and Feuilly left, Courfeyrac spent a few minutes cleaning up after everyone. As he walked past Marius’ room, the closed door doing nothing to mask the sounds coming from within, he felt the satisfaction of a job well done. He took a shower and changed into his pajamas. 

Later that night he got texts from Combeferre, Enjolras and Grantaire thanking him for his “meddling” and “infernal interference.” They had a great time on their date and were planning on going out again and Grantaire was staying over “just to sleep.” Yeah right.

Even later he got a facebook notification that Joly, Musichetta and Bossuet were all in a relationship. There was an accompanying private message from Musichetta saying that he had nothing to do with it. They had already had sex and gone on dates and were planning on having the Define the relationship conversation next week for Bossuet’s birthday but had to move it up because of his meddling. Courfeyrac was happy for Bossuet. Despite Musichetta’s insistence that he wasn’t responsible, Courfeyrac totally took credit for this relationship too.

 

He was totally the matchmaking champion!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was hard to figure out a good ending for. Hope it turned out all right.
> 
> I totally have an idea for a short sequel called Living Arrangements about all the various triads moving in with each other, but that's a ys down the list of things I'm working on right now.


End file.
